portrait of a porn party

Photo Caption: I don't know everybody in this photo but from the left, the people I do know are: me, Tristan Taormino, Jiz Lee, Ned Mayhem, Alison, Reid, Arabelle Raphael, James Darling, and Maxine Holloway.
Photo Caption: I don't know everybody in this photo but from the left, the people I do know are: me, Tristan Taormino, Jiz Lee, Ned Mayhem, Alison, Reid, Arabelle Raphael, James Darling, and Maxine Holloway.

i hosted an informal gathering at the Lexington Club last night for Tristan Taormino and her new book Take Me There (a trans and genderqueer erotic anthology) and of course, a ton of porn stars, sex geeks, writers, and muses showed up. we screened Live Sex Show and Adrianna’s Dangerous Mind on the Lexington’s big screen television, ate cupcakes, and talked about gender and porn. There were quite a few trans women there and I was excited to see them in the Lexington Club, a place that has felt pretty devoid of trans femininity in the past 6 years that I’ve been going there. There were also a lot of genderqueer (a gender identity outside of the male/female gender binary and heteronormativity) folks, and something else you don’t see at the Lexington every day – queer men making out on the dance floor. (You know who you are!!!). Throughout the course of the party, I just kept looking around at everybody there and feeling overwhelmingly grateful for all of these different kinds of ways we all live our lives. Thinking about how small my community is compared to the rest of the “GLBT” umbrella – a term I’ve long felt disconnected from, as I think we all do as queer-identified “outsiders.” Thinking about how important it is that we keep coming together in these kinds of ways, at all-gender parties. I know a lot of people find safety and comfort in “women only spaces” or “men only spaces.” I find myself the safest and most comfortable in all-gender spaces, or better yet, non-gendered spaces entirely.  And you know where I, perhaps contradictingly and for sure serendipitously, always seem to find the best non-gendered safe spaces? At porn parties.

One thought on “portrait of a porn party

  • November 30, 2011 at 9:24 pm
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    Courtney!

    Thank you so much for hosting and creating such amazing spaces for queer community (and making out!)… Much love and adoration, you Wonder Woman, you!

    xxREiD

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